By Rookie, AllHabs.net

MONTREAL, QC. — I don’t know what to do with myself these days. The hockey season is over, the TV season is over. No hockey games on television, only weak reality shows. Can I combine the two and find out what my Habs will be up to this offseason? Coming to an imaginary TV network near you…

Uncle P.K.: P.K. Subban’s older sister recently gave birth to a baby boy. Watch as P.K. juggles babysitting with his busy offseason training schedule, all while fielding daily prank calls from Hal Gill.
To Hab And To Hold: According to rumour, Max Pacioretty will be getting married this summer. Wedding shows are second in popularity only to shows about pawn shops and stuff, so I’d love to see a show about Max and his fiancee planning their wedding and trying to get through the big day without Zdeno Chara trying to sabotage it.
Tomas Plekanec was recently married to his lovely pop star girlfriend in the Czech Republic. Hopefully there’s footage of them planning their wedding and trying to get through the big day without Jaromir Jagr trying to sabotage it.

Dairy King: Josh Gorges’ father owns a Dairy Queen franchise in Kelowna, B.C. I imagine him helping out during the offseason, trying not to be tempted by all the fatty foods surrounding him. Maybe, just to add some extra drama, Ryan Getzlaf (who also lives in Kelowna during the summer) will open a rival ice cream shop across the street. What will happen?

On The Move: A show that would follow this season’s Habs as they move on to other teams next season. Nigel Dawes and Dustin Boyd are allegedly headed to the KHL. I’d like to see how they prepare for such a big move and what they do during their last Canadian summer.

Whiter Shade Of Pale: This show follows Lars Eller as he makes it through a summer and tries to avoid sunburns. Look for some product placement (you can’t have a reality show without it) from the sunscreen companies.