This is not going to be a good season to be a Hab-hater.
In fact, that’s an understatement on the same scale as ”This is not a good month to be a stockbroker.”
You either love or hate the Montreal Canadiens. There is no Middle Earth. If you love them, you are likely to have a winter of sheer bliss. If you despise them, if you gag at the mere mention of Les Glorieux, you are about to enter hockey’s version of a Turkish prison. First of all, they are good. Really good. Second, and much more annoying to you, the next six months will seem like one interminable ceremony celebrating everything Blue, Blanc, et Rouge.
The Canadiens have hugantic plans for their 100th season. It all kicked off last Wednesday with the unveiling of the Ring of Honour, a wonderful tribute to the 44 former players and 10 builders in the Hockey Hall of Fame. Nobody does ceremonies as well as Montreal.
Later in Duthie’s hilarious article:
NOV. 15 (vs. Philadelphia) — ”Chez Paree Appreciation Night,” a touching ceremony in honour of the distraction (and subsequent losses) this legendary men’s club has caused visiting teams for decades. A bronze statue of “Denise”, Pare’s longest serving stripper, will be unveiled outside the Bell Centre’s North Entrance. (You will be able to sit near the statue, but you cannot make any physical contact.)
DEC. 21 (vs. Carolina) — Sergei Samsonov Sweater Retirement. After realizing they have already honoured almost every living former player, the Habs are forced to commemorate the 9-goal, healthy scratch-filled 2006-2007 season of this current Hurricane.