There are two kinds of non-Habs fans I’d like to focus on, Habs fan posers, and the abstinent fans. Personally, I find the latter the most difficult to deal with, but we’ll get to them a little later.
First off, the Habs fan posers. They’re the ones who don’t bother until the final three or four games of the season, and suddenly begin expressing an interest in the team. You’ll recognize these ones, as they’re the ones who spew incorrect statistics with a confidence that implies they actually know what they’re talking about. I like to think of these people as “band-wagoners”.
Spring time in Montreal is very heavily dominated with hockey speak. Everyone starts to get excited at the thought that maybe, just maybe, the team has what it takes to go all the way. It becomes the social event, and if you want to have any hope of seeing your friends for the next few weeks, you have to jump on the band wagon. In respect to the band-wagoners, I say the more the merrier! However, I simply ask that these people do NOT act as though they have an emotional investment in the team that could even pale in comparison to that of a true Habs fan. What is a true Habs fan, you ask? I’ll get to that later.
Second, the abstinent fans. These are the ones who abstain from any and all forms of hockey. Whether they don’t understand, don’t care or have another extra-curricular preference is at their discretion. However, I find this particular group to be the most tiresome.
They are the ones who don’t understand why you can’t go out on a Saturday night until after the game. They are the ones who don’t understand why you need to go out for an early dinner in order to make it home in time for “les méchants mardis Molson Ex”. They’re the ones who don’t understand why you need to miss a week of school because you’re too distraught over a potentially career ending hit delivered to one of your team’s leading scorers. They’re the ones who roll their eyes when they see you paint your face bleu, blanc, rouge on big game days. While it would be wonderful to quarantine them somewhere far, far away, this is not a possibility. I find the easiest way to do this is to avoid them from mid-April through early June.
Lastly, true Habs fans. These are the ones who have read through to this point, mostly in accord with the aforementioned. A true Habs fan never misses a regular season game, without having a VERY good reason. A true Habs fan will adhere to certain superstitions including but not limited to what type of beer they drink during games, who they watch games with, where they watch games, not shaving during playoffs, etc. A true Habs fan can easily attest to having stood outside the Bell Sports Complex for two hours to meet their favourite player. A true Habs fan can admit that they sobbed for a solid hour after being eliminated in the conference finals last season. A true Habs fan is a kindred spirit, and when you meet one like yourself, you are bonded for life.
As the playoff season approaches, whether dealing with Habs fan posers, abstinent fans, or true Habs fans, above all, be sure to maintain a sense of humour.
Go Habs Go!
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