Hi, favourite team,
You probably had a little trouble waking up this morning, what with the excitement of the first day of school and all. Also, you were probably out partying last night.
Anyway, I just wanted to give you a few bits of advice to help you get through the 2010-2011 school year:
- First of all, don’t lose your head when one of the new kids comes up to you and starts getting on your nerves. You’re the one that’s going to get the detention if you get into it with him.
- That big ugly mean kid in the blue and white? Not your friend. Neither is the even uglier bully in black and yellow.
- Don’t let anyone try to convince you it’s black and gold. IT’S YELLOW.
- Remember that it doesn’t matter who’s bigger than you if you are faster and smarter.
- Don’t fall asleep while the teacher is talking.
- Okay. Try not to fall asleep while the teacher is talking.
- Stick up for your friends, because some of them will need it.
- Tune out that unpleasant buzzing noise that will sometimes happen all around you. Keep working hard and it will eventually go away.
- Don’t skip your homework, otherwise you might not be allowed to play with the others and you’ll have to watch them have fun without you.
- Also don’t skip your showers, cause, like, you know. Hockey stank.
- Don’t go around saying things if you’re not willing to deal with the consequences.
- For the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT KEEP GETTING SENT OUT OF THE CLASSROOM EVERY FEW MINUTES.
- And finally, don’t ever get too big for your boots. Nobody likes that.