By Rookie, AllHabs.net
MONTREAL, QC. — Last year, I had a blast compiling the worst gifts you could possibly give to a Habs fan (or, really, any hockey fan.) This year, I thought it would be fun to do the opposite, and suggest some gift ideas that your favourite Habs fan would be happy to unwrap this holiday season.
But things aren’t quite right in Habs Nation these days. If Santa’s sleigh ran on team spirit, it would barely get off the ground. Some fans don’t love the team as much as they should, because it’s been a tough year.
I could type some wry, sarcastic gift suggestions for the hopeless Habs fan, I guess. How about a Stanley Cup-shaped flask? An inflatable, punchable Chris Lee balloon? Or a string of bleu-blanc-rouge prayer beads, with which to recite the “Hail Maurice” and “Notre Lemaire”? (Don’t even think about that last one, it’s far too sacrilegious.)
So, then, what could the perfect gift be?
The answer is simple: A blanket.
Bet you weren’t expecting that answer, but it’s the greatest gift any Habs fan could ask for. Everyone needs one, and if they already own one, they probably need another. Why a blanket, you ask?
They’re warm. I went to the Bell Centre earlier this season, just as a nasty cold was starting to take its hold on me. I was sneezing and shivering and miserable – it was not a pretty sight. All I wanted that evening was a Habs blanket, at any cost, to wrap around myself and keep warm while watching my team. (They lost.)
They’re comforting. A blanket is like a big fleece hug. It doesn’t ask for anything in return, and all the average Habs blanket has on it is a logo, and maybe some generic hockey designs on it. No too many men penalties, no boneheaded refs, no embarrassing goals against. Just hockey.
They’re never the wrong size. I’m sure it’s happened before that someone received a jersey that was too big, or a T-shirt with a less-than-favourite player’s name on the back, or (Santa forbid) something pink. But you can’t go wrong with a blanket. They’re never the wrong colour and they always come in handy.
They’re good for naps. You never know when even the most diehard fan will get discouraged, and decide to get a little shut-eye between periods instead of paying attention to the analysts on TV. They’ll wake up rested and feeling better about their favourite team, who will get better eventually, although sometimes fans don’t realize that until they’ve had a short winter’s nap.
So if you’re looking for a last-minute gift idea, there you go. Nothing will be more useful to a Habs fan than a blanket. Even if you’re met with quizzical looks when the gift is first unwrapped, you’ll get thanked for it before season’s end.
Happy Holidays!