How to get your team to win the Stanley Cup

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by Rookie, AllHabs.net

MONTREAL, QC. — Like most Habs fans, I was beyond upset when the Bruins hoisted the Stanley Cup last June.

Then I flashed back to about two months earlier, and wondered if it was all my fault. I’m a bit of a superstitious hockey fan, you see, and I might occasionally hit a streak of bad luck. On the second Saturday of April, the very last day of the regular NHL season, I was in Toronto and visited the Hockey Hall of Fame.

When I got my chance to be photographed with the Stanley Cup, I did what many hockey players have done before me and planted a kiss on it. I was wearing my brand-new P.K. Subban T-shirt at the time. What can I say? It was love at first sight. It was the Stanley Cup.

And then the Bruins won it. I cursed the Stanley Cup.

Since the Canadiens aren’t making the playoffs this year, I have a proposal for fans of other teams: If you want to win the Stanley Cup, I might be able to help you. Send me on an all-expenses-paid trip to Toronto and provide me with a T-shirt bearing the logo of your team’s most hated rival. I will wear it to the Hockey Hall of Fame and kiss the Cup again. If the past is any indication, you’ll be attending a parade in a couple of months.

DISCLAIMER: This Stanley Cup incident had no bearing on the Canadiens’ 2011-2012 season. Stanley Cup winning results not guaranteed. I reserve the right to refuse service to teams that I do not want to give the Cup to.

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