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Top 35 Funny NHL Player Names

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Top 35 Funny NHL Player Names

Written by Habsterix, AllHabs.net

PENTICTON, BC. — Ever watch a hockey game and smile for no apparent reasons listening to the play-by-play announcer? Then it hits you when you realize that the name of a player made you think of something funny? Here’s a list of the Top 35 names of current NHL players and coaches likely to draw a smile on your face:

  1. Gustav Nyquist (DET): For itchy stuffy nose
  2. Ben Maxwell (ANA): Coffee’s on the house
  3. Marc-Andre Bourdon (PHI): Better known as Bumble-bee
  4. Carl Klingberg (WIN): Use Steve Downie for static
  5. Mike Commodore (DET): Should be wearing #64
  6. Robert Bortuzzo (PIT): Todd Bertuzzi’s relative, changed his name out of shame.
  7. Paul Postma (WIN): Missing an “n”?
  8. Cade Fairchild (STL): As opposed to unfair?
  9. Michal Repik (FLO): When you need a second chance
  10. Jake Dowell (DAL): Watching him move is having a Dowell movement
  11. Casey Wellman (MIN): Well what?
  12. Brett Sterling (STL): Silver lining
  13. Brandon Saad (CHI): As opposed to Haappy
  14. Brandon Yip (COL): Yuuuuuup!Storage Wars’ fan
  15. Dan Hinote (COL): The guy sure can sing
  16. Mattias Ritola (TBL): Isn’t that a cough medicine?
  17. Ben Lovejoy (PIT): Need I say more?
  18. Cody Bass (CBJ): Something fishy about him
  19. Nicklas Grossman (DAL): Wonder what he did to deserve that name…
  20. Andreas Nodl (CAR): Thow him on the wall and see if he sticks
  21. Trevor Lewis (LAK): What’ you talkin’ about?
  22. Kyle Clifford (LAK): The big red dog (those with kids will understand)
  23. Jakub Kindl (DET): Smaller than Wood
  24. Trevor Daley (DAL): More frequent than Kevin Weeks
  25. Aaron Rome (VAN): Wasn’t built in a day
  26. Joey Crabb (TOR): Wonder where he got those from
  27. Nikita Nikitin (CBJ): Addictive
  28. T.J. Oshie (STL): Would love to play with Mario
  29. Dustin Byfuglien (WIN): How do they get Bufflin out of that?
  30. Jeff Skinner (CAR): Who doesn’t think of The Simpsons?
  31. Grant Clitsome (CBJ): Need I say more?
  32. Clayton Stoner (MIN): Cheech and Chong’s favorite player
  33. Mike Yeo (MIN): Yeo, pick up the phone! Wazzup!
  34. Ken Hitchcock (STL): The Itchy and Scratchy show
  35. Mike Babcock (DET): That’s a “b”, not a “d”

So the next time you watch NHL hockey, try not to laugh too much. People around you may not understand… unless you refer them to this article. Do you know any that should be on this list? Post them in the comments’ section and we’ll all laugh together.

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J.D. is a Senior writer for All Habs as well as Associate-Editor for the French version Le Magazine All Habs, while one of three Administrators of the fan forum Les Fantômes du Forum. He has created the handle Habsterix as a fictional character for the sole purpose of the internet. It is based on the cartoon Asterix of Gaule and his magic potion is his passion for the Montreal Canadiens. How old is he? His close friends will tell you that he’s so old, his back goes out more than he does! He was born when Béliveau lifted the Cup and remembers the days when seeing the Habs winning was not a wish, it was an expectation. For him, writing is a hobby, not a profession. Having moved to beautiful British Columbia in 1992 from his home town of Sherbrooke, Quebec, he started writing mostly in French to keep up his grammar, until non-bilingual BC friends pushed him into starting his own English Blog. His wife will say that he can be stubborn, but she will be the first to recognise that he has great sense of humour. He is always happy to share with you readers his point of views on different topics, and while it is expected that people won’t always agree, respect of opinions and of others is his mission statement. || J.D. est Rédacteur-Adjoint sur Le Magazine All Habs et il est un Rédacteur Principal sur le site anglophone All Habs, tout en étant un des trois Administrateurs du forum de discussion Les Fantômes du Forum. Il a créé le pseudonyme Habstérix comme caractère fictif pour l’internet. Celui-ci est basé sur Astérix de Gaule et sa potion magique est sa passion pour les Canadiens de Montréal. Lorsqu’il est né, Jean Béliveau soulevait la Coupe Stanley et il se rappelle des jours où gagner n’était pas un espoir, mais une attente. Pour lui, écrire est un passe-temps, pas une profession. Ayant déménagé dans la superbe Colombie-Britannique en 1992 en provenance de sa ville natale de Sherbrooke, Québec, il a commencé à écrire en français pour garder sa grammaire, jusqu’à ce que ses amis anglophones ne réussissent à le convaincre d’avoir son blog en anglais. Son épouse vous dira qu’il est têtu, mais elle sera la première à reconnaître son grand sens de l’humour. Il est toujours fier de partager avec vous, lecteurs et lectrices, ses points de vue sur différents sujets, et quoi que les gens ne s’entendent pas toujours sur ceux-ci, le respect des opinions et des autres est son énoncé de mission.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Pokey Reddick
    Jonathan Quick & Viktor Fasth (Speedy goalies)
    Ryan Getzlaf (Gets Laugh)
    Shawn Horcoff (Skank with a scratchy throat)
    Jordin Tootoo (Ballerina?)
    Charlie Coyle (goes in circles)
    Cal Clutterbuck (A deer with too much stuff?)
    Daniel Bang (POW!)
    Darroll Powe (BANG!)
    Michael Grabner (should keep his hands to himself)
    Mark Streit and Brian Strait (they aren’t gay)
    Tomas Hickey (what’s that on your neck?)
    Tanner Glass (Tinted)
    Joffrey Lupul (found a loophole)
    Nik Kulemin (is a Cool Lemon)
    Jay Beagle (can be a little snoopy)

    Some guys who are on the perfect team for their name.
    Cam Fowler (The Ducks)
    Dwight King (The Kings)
    Drew Shore (Florida)

Comments are closed.